Preach Sista's Sista Stories

Hagar

2012-02-04T20:54:00.000-08:00

'Sarah, Abraham's wife, took Hagar the Egyptian, her slave-girl, and gave her to her husband Abram as a wife. He went in to Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, she looked with contempt on her mistress.' Genesis 16: 3,4

Ruth and Naomi

2012-01-31T18:18:00.000-08:00

We find the story of Ruth and Naomi in the book of Ruth. Ruth was poor, a foreigner, and a woman, and all this counted against her, but she was helped by an older woman, her mother-in-law, to overcome the difficulties she faced. She had the good sense to listen to the advice given to her by Naomi, and Naomi was rewarded by Ruth's unfaltering loyalty. We get the first glimpse on that loyalty when, in response to Naomi's plea for her daughter-in-laws to go back their mother's home, Ruth replies "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me."

The story of Ruth and Naomi is a story that illustrates the triumph of courage and ingenuity over adverse circumstances. Ruth has special significance for Christians. In the gospel of Matthew, four women were included in the genealogy of Jesus (Matthew 1:2-17), and Ruth was one of the four.

I am blessed to have a mother-in-law who loves me as if I were her biological daughter. There is no mother-in-law drama here. I am further blessed to have women in my life who are wise and and who have been there for me and who are not afraid to "check me" when I need it. I know that with Christ in my life I can manage anything that comes my way; but having wise and seasoned women in my life makes the journey less treacherous and more bearable. I have had the benefit of having seasoned women pour into my life and now, it is my turn to pour into a younger sister. It is time for me to be a Naomi to a Ruth.

Something About Anna

2012-01-24T15:04:00.000-08:00

And there was one Anna, a prophetess, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher (she was of a great age, having lived with a husband seven years from her virginity, and she had been a widow even unto fourscore and four years), who departed not from the temple, worshipping with fastings and supplications night and day. And coming up at that very hour she gave thanks unto God, and spake of him to all them that were looking for the redemption of Jerusalem. (Luke 2: 36-38)

Something about Anna

• Most of the women in the Bible were nameless (referred to as mothers, wives, daughters, whores)
• The books of Matthew, Mark, and John did not mention Anna
• But something about Anna caused Luke to not only mention her, but call her by name.

Something about Anna,

• Who her people were, her marital status, her age,
• What she did in the temple and how long she did it,
She was more than just an old woman in a temple, kissing babies …
she was a worshiper and she had significance, she was someone with a name … someone who did not depart from what she was called to do. We are not all called to be in the temple day and night…. But the question is, are we doing what we are called to do? Do we still believe in the promise?

Something about Anna

• She kept believing , yes the Messiah will come
• She kept serving, even when the odds were against her. She was eighty-some years old, her husband was dead, and she was living in a male world
• She kept proclaiming the good news

She kept on believing, serving, and proclaiming until she actually held the promise. While she waited for the manifestation of that promise, she walked in her giftedness and once she grasped the promise, she told everyone that the promise was for them as well.

We can’t all be a Junaita Bynum or a Paula White or a Joyce Meyer, but we can all be like Anna. We can believe, we can serve, we can proclaim and we can help others grasp the good news. And maybe, just maybe, someone will say, there is something about us.

Abigail

2012-01-15T14:15:00.000-08:00

There was a man in Maon, whose property was in Carmel. The man was very rich; he had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats. He was shearing his sheep in Carmel. Now the name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. The woman was clever and beautiful, but the man was surly and mean. 1 Samuel 25:1-3

The story of Abigail is one of a woman married to a husband who was mean and a fool. Nabal’s foolishness was illustrated when he not only insulted David, but also refused to provide David and his men food. Fortunately, one of David’s servants told Nabal’s wife about the insults that had been directed at David by Nabal (1 Samuel 25:14) even though David’s men had protected Nabal’s men and sheep (1 Samuel 25:15-16). As soon as Abigail heard of her husband’s insulting behavior toward David, she began to make preparations to make up for his foolish actions. Without telling her husband of her plan (1 Samuel 25:19), she and her servants prepared a large amount of food and drink and traveled to where David and his men were camped (1 Samuel 25:18-20). Abigail averted disaster regarding herself and her family by humbling herself before David (1 Samuel 25:23-31). Abigail did an extraordinary thing when she took the blame for the sin of her husband (1 Samuel 25:28). She humbled herself and interceded for her people before David. For those who have been taught that wives are to "obey" their husbands, this presents an interesting biblical precedent. Abigail has: 1) Considered the problem, 2) determined a course of action directly opposed to her husband's wishes, 3) implemented that plan, and 4) failed to seek her husband's permission--in fact, she hasn't told him anything. David could have chastised Abigail for dishonoring her husband, but he didn’t. In fact, he did the exact opposite. He praised the Lord for her, then proclaimed her good sense. He applauded her spiritual knowledge in preventing him from sin--more he told her she had saved every man in her extended household. Unlike what we are often told, David listened and "heeds" a woman. The result of Abigail’s actions was that David’s heart was softened and he was kept from bloodshed that day. He accepted her offering and granted her request (1 Samuel 25:35). It can be said that Abigail:

1) …was a wise woman – She recognized the need to humble herself and intercede for her people before David and was willing to do so (1 Samuel 25:28).

2) …was a courageous woman – Abigail risked her life, firstly by not telling her husband of her plans. In those times women were their husband’s property. Nabal was a wealthy man (vs. 2) – she could have lost everything – even her life, for taking matters into her own hands. Secondly, going to meet David was very risky – can you imagine riding into that mountain ravine on a donkey (1 Samuel 25:20) and coming towards you are 400 men with swords and an angry leader at their head? (1 Samuel 25:13). But Abigail was a courageous woman and her motive was to plead for the lives of others.

3) … was a prophetic woman – Abigail spoke prophetic words to David. David realized this and as a result much bloodshed was averted that day (1 Samuel 25:33).

4) … was a faithful woman – She believed in God and spoke forth His message to David (1 Samuel 25:26). Abigail was rewarded for her faithfulness – she became wife to David, the future King (1 Samuel 25:42).

Abigail was certainly a woman of integrity and destiny along with many other women we read about in the Bible who God used in extraordinary ways – Esther, Deborah, Hannah, Mary, to name just a few. These women did remarkable things in their day and generation. God wants us to do remarkable things for Him in our day and generation! (Matthew 28:19-20).

The question we need to ask ourselves is, “are we willing to display the integrity and courage in our lives that Abigail displayed in hers in carrying out the Lord’s will?” (Matthew 7:21).

Sources: http://preachersfiles.com/abigail-in-the-bible/ and http://www.alabaster-jars.com/biblewomen-a.html

Women of the Bible - Eve

2012-01-09T20:26:00.000-08:00

It is 2012 and we are starting the new year with a new Bible Study. We are starting off the year with Jean Syswerda's Women of the Bible: 52 Bible Studies for Individuals and Groups. For most of this year we will be looking at the lives of females found in Scripture.

We begin our study with a look at Eve. Her name means "Life-giving" or "Mother of All Who Have Life."

We find her story in the book of Genesis in the first four chapters. Syswerda describes Eve as coming into the world "... perfectly at peace with her God and with her husband, the only other person on the planet. She lived in Paradise, possessing every pleasure imaginable. She never knew the meaning of embarrassment, misunderstanding, hurt, estrangement, envy, bitterness, grief, or guilt until she listened to her enemy and began to doubt God." Want to know more about the true "first lady" of the world? Then pick up Syswerda's book. Syswerda asks several questions to guide the reader into a deeper understanding of Eve's life and times. I invite you to study along with us. Our goal is to post something new each week. Next week, we will look at Abigail.

Something Needs to Change

2011-09-04T18:37:00.000-07:00

"A woman who had suffered a condition of hemorrhaging for twelve years—a long succession of physicians had treated her, and treated her badly, taking all her money and leaving her worse off than before—had heard about Jesus. She slipped in from behind and touched his robe. She was thinking to herself, "If I can put a finger on his robe, I can get well." The moment she did it, the flow of blood dried up. She could feel the change and knew her plague was over and done with." - Mark 5:25 MSG

Like the woman who had suffered for over twelve years, we, at times, find ourselves desperate for a life change. Life is not the way it is supposed to be, we are hurting, we are way past tired, and something needs to change because we can't imagine going on with life in this present state. Life interruptions happen. And when they happen they throw us off our game ... we wonder why things are happening to us ... we wonder if things will ever get better.

Things can get better, but it will be in God's timing. Just like the woman who was desperate for healing and reached out for Jesus, we need to make a decision to do something differently while we wait for our change to come.

The decision to do something differently begins with believing that things -- life -- can be different; that life can be better. To do different, we have to want to do different and we will not want to do different if we don't believe that things can be different. The woman who had been hemorrhaging for twelve years dared to believe that life could be better and that if she just did something, things would be different.

When life interruptions happen, things change; how we respond to those interruptions begins with our thinking. When something or some thingS need to change, the first step is to change our thinking.

Sometimes It's the Woman in the Mirror

2011-07-20T09:23:00.000-07:00

"I have considered my ways and have turned my steps to your statutes." - Psalm 119:59

Sometimes life is interrupted by the person that we face in the mirror every morning as we start our day. The woman or the man that is reflected in the mirror is, at times, the biggest obstacle we have to overcome. Sometimes these obstacles come in the form of fear -- often disguised as "what if?". What if we fail? What if we have to go alone? What if no one likes us? What if no one shows up? What if we are as bad as our worst critic thinks? What if ....

I have found that on the days when the woman in mirror is creating life obstacles that would keep me from being all that I could be, reflecting on the words of Marianne Williamson helps. I hope these words inspire you as much as they inspire me.

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves,

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

we are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.

________________

from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles

The Leftover Makeover

2011-07-11T11:43:00.000-07:00

"... [N]o one can do what God can - take the messes we've made, the problems we've caused, and rebuild them into something that looks surprisingly promising. He pours the cream of His Spirit over everything, sprinkles some grace and mercy on top, puts it in a hot oven of trial and adversity, and - voila! - a delicious offering we never thought our lives would ever produce again, ready to serve a hungry world that's equally in need of redemption." - Shirer, Life Interrupted, pp.108

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. - 2 Corinthians 4:16 (NIV)

Last Saturday, at the SHINE book group hosted by Preach Sista! we began preparing for our discussion of the book Life Interrupted. However, at this meeting we didn't talk about the book (that will happen at next month's meeting). Instead we shared stories of interruptions from our own lives. As we sat in a circle sharing stories, two themes became clear. 1) Interruptions often hurt us deeply. I'll say that one more time, Interruptions often hurt us deeply. and 2) Good can still come out of the hurts that wound us deeply.

I know this to be true in my own life. I have endured many a hurt. Some self-inflected, but most were inflicted by others... all interrupted my nicely planned out life. I didn't understand why these things were happening to me; I didn't want these things to be happening to me, especially when they involved changing a church home. I bear the scars -- emotional and spiritual -- of changing my church membership years ago. It was a difficult time for me. It was not something that I planned. There were days when I had just wished I go go to sleep and not wake up in the morning ---- yep, it was that bad.

Somehow, through all of the drama and trauma, the Holy Spirit kept reminding me that God is in the transformation business and that God was working things out. At times it was hard to believe that anything could be salvaged from the mess of my church life or that there really was any place for me. But God. And that's really all I have to say, "But God" ...
But God ... is faithful!
But God ... never abandons us!
But God ... loves us!
But God ... has a plan for us!
But God ... never fails!
But God ... is a comforter!
But God ... can turn things and us around!
But God ... is true to His Word!
But God ... knows how we are made and will meet us were we are!
But God ... sent Jesus for one such as me (and you)!
But God ... forgives and restores!
But God takes the messes of our lives and the leftovers of our lives and brings about a transformation that only He can orchestrate. My move from one church to another was traumatic, but it was a necessary step for my development as a leader and for a strengthening of my faith. I learned what it really means to trust God and what it means to be restored by grace.

Restoration by grace doesn't mean that we no longer encounter trials, it just means that we can hold one a little easier to the promise of transformation because we have seen Him do it before.
If your life looks like a bunch of leftovers -- a smidgen of this, a bit of that, a broken heart, a weary spirit -- let God take your leftovers and transform them for His glory. If He can do it for me, He can do it for you!

A Prayer for the Interrupted Times

2011-07-02T12:49:00.000-07:00

Interruptions. They're aggravating. Sometimes infuriating. They make us want to tell people what we think of them. But how we handle interruptions acutally tells us more about ourselves.

Interruptions are going to happen. Life interruptions can be small -- can't find the car keys and you are running late, you are short one egg for the brownie recipe, the alarm clock didn't wake you up; they can be big -- you loose your job, the love of your life tells you he is leaving you, your child is on her way to prison; sometimes the interruptions are the results of things that we do that we know we have no business doing and sometimes they are the result of events that are beyond our control. Whatever the cause, life interruptions do exactly that they INTERRUPT our neat little plans.

At these moments, we (or is it just me?) are tempted to just throw our hands up in the air and become discouraged. And, if we are not careful a moment of discouragement can become the seed of a bitter root or a doorway to depression. We can not prevent life interruptions any more than we can turn mud into gold. The only control we have in these matters is how we choose to respond. No one can make you depressed, no one can make you angry, no one can make you upset, no one can make you eat a whole bag of Oreo cookies in a single sitting. No no one can make you do these things, we have to choose to do things. If we can choose to eat the Oreos we can also choose to take a walk instead; if we can choose to be upset, we can also choose to not allow a situation to get the best of us. There are options. We have a choice.

I recently found this prayer of release on Roy Lessin's blog - "Meet Me in the Meadow." I have been using this prayer when interruptions threaten to overwhelm me. The prayer reminds me to lift my hands to God for help instead of throwing my hands up in despair when the unexpected comes my way. I'm listing the prayer below. If you have a prayer that you would like to share, you are welcome to share it.

Prayer of Release
I know the one in whom I trust, and I am sure that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until the day of his return. 2 Timothy 1:12 NLT
Heavenly Father, I release to You the burdens that I have been carrying, burdens that You never intended for me to carry. I cast all my cares upon You—all my worries, all my fears. You have told me not be anxious about anything, but rather to bring everything to You in prayer with thankfulness.

Father, calm my restless spirit, quiet my anxious heart, still my troubling thoughts with the assurance that You are in control. I let go of my grip upon the things I have been hanging onto, with opened hands I come to You. I release to Your will all that I am trying to manipulate; I release to Your authority all that I am trying to control; I release to Your timing all that I have been striving to make happen.

I thank You for Your promise to sustain me, preserve me, and guard all that I have entrusted to Your keeping. Protect my heart and mind with Your peace, the peace that passes all understanding. Father, may Your will be done in my life, in Your time, and in Your way.

Scriptures: Psalm 55:22, 1 Peter 5:7, Philippians 4:6, Matthew 6, Isaiah 26:3, Luke 11:2

Meet Me in the Meadow

Preach Sista Reads - Life Interrupted

2011-06-28T21:09:00.000-07:00

Preach Sista is recommending another Sista Story for your reading pleasure this Summer - Life Interrupted: Navigating the Unexpected. We will be reading and reflecting on the book during the months of July and August. We are recommending the book because life rarely goes as planned; stuff happens and life is interrupted. Author Priscilla Shirer helps the reader to see life interruptions as divine interventions. One review states ...

"We, like Jonah, tend to run from interruptions. When major pains and minor problems cause a hiccup in our carefully calculated plans and goals we head in the opposite direction. Who knows what we might be missing by running from what could very well be God's means of steering us toward the most magnificent outcomes of our lives. Jonah could tell us a story or two. So could you. And so does popular conference speaker and author Priscilla Shirer in this personal account of opportunities lost and lessons learned -- the amazing freedom and fulfillment that comes from going with God when He's going against your grain."

What If ...

2011-05-23T19:29:00.000-07:00

"I have a friend who believes when she puts her feet on the floor in the morning, the devil shudders and says, 'Oh no! She's awake.' If one ezer makes the devil tremble, what can a whole army of ezers do? Who knows what could happen if we took seriously God's vision for us, and what a difference we could make if ezers everywhere were waking up with big creative ideas for how God might use them for his kingdom and boldly taking the lead?' - Half the Church, page 193

What if .... women began to understand that we have power. Power to change the world?
What if ... the devil (in all his forms) shuddered when we got up in the morning?
What if ... we took seriously God's vision for us?
What if ... women decided to boldly lead?

Half the Church ... continued

2011-05-04T08:37:00.000-07:00

The iintroduction to the book , Half the Church, begins with lines from a poem by Jessica Goodfellow. "There is more to us than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps for the rest of our lives we will be unwilling to settle for less." The lines from the poem are appropriate for the theme and title of the introduction chapter, "Seeing Beyond Ourselves".

With the challenges that accompany our individual and personal lives (like the price gas jumping another 15 cents overnight), it is 'easy' to forget that the world is large and there are social problems that need addressing. This book is a call for those of us who identify ourselves as Christians to see beyond our individual problems and to seek God for wisdom in responding to global issues... to be concerned about suffering and oppression which is not only crushing the spirit of women around the world, but, in some cases, is literally killing women and young girls.

There is a reality of oppression and suffering that many of our sisters in other countries experience everyday. It is time for the church to bear witness to this truth and work to bring about a change.

Half the Church

2011-04-09T13:10:00.000-07:00

Our must read book of the summer is ...

Half the Church: Recapturing God's Global Vision for Women by Carolyn Custis James (2010, Zondervan)

"Women comprise at least half the world, and usually more than half the church, but so often Christian teaching to women either fails to move beyond a discussion of roles or assumes a particular economic situation or stage of life. This all but shuts women out from contributing to God's kingdom as they were designed to do. Furthermore, the plight of women in the Majority World demands a Christian response, a holistic embrace of all that God calls women to be in his world. Carolyn Custis James unpacks three transformative biblical themes, showing how God gives women a new identity that frees them to embrace the life he gives." (from the book jacket of Half the Church)

Over the next eight weeks, or so, you are invited to read Half the Church along with other followers of Preach Sista's Sista Stories. Each Sunday afternoon a qoutation from the book will be posted along with a commentary about the quote. Comments from readers are welcome.
Join us as we read together over the summer.

A Daily Confession for Women

2011-03-30T10:57:00.000-07:00

Years ago I drafted a "Daily Confession of Affirmation" for myself. The confession was an effort to contfront my own issues of low self-esteem and to see myself as God sees me. For years I found it difficult to really ( I mean for real, for real) love myself or think that anyone else could love me because of a past filled with verbal abuse, society's (and the church's) lack of positive affirmation for women, and my own self-doubts. But, as I began to accept God's Word as true, even for me, I slowly began to change how I thought of myself. Many conversations with God later, I wrote my own daily confession. From time to time I change aspects of my confession to reflect the stages of my life, but the basic format is listed below. It is a statement that I have shared with many women, especially women in ministry as a beginning place for them to write their own statement and to begin a process of embracing their calling to ministry and it can also be adapted for men. As I like to say, Preach Sista is for women and then men who love them.

I am an awesome and divinely fashioned woman created to be a world shaker and a herstory maker. I walk in my authority as a Queen who was born with everything that I needed to reach my divinely created purpose and to walk this life journey.

I have the ability to choose what kind of day I will have and the kind of person I will be. I choose to make this a great day. I choose to be productive, powerful, present, compassionate, beautiful, and encouraging. I choose to love what I do and to believe that what I do matters. I choose to be guided by my goals and my convictions. I choose to tell my own story.

I will not be overcome by circumstances or the negative opinions of others. I refuse to receive any negativity sent to disrupt and destroy my purpose and confidence; because it is not my stuff.

No weapon formed against me shall prosper. I know who I am. I am a child of the Most High God, I am an excellent worker, and a powerful woman of faith bringing organization, clarity, equity, and justice to every situation that falls within my sphere of influence.

I walk in high places and will not allow my thoughts or actions to be hurtful, harmful, or vengeful to another. I walk in the Spirit not in the flesh; therefore I can expect supernatural interventions on my behalf . I refuse to stoop to the level of hate, bitterness, unforgiveness, or victimization. I let go of all pain, shame, frustration, humiliations, sadness, anger, depression, rage and negative thoughts that would rob me of my true identity, peace of mind, and joy in life.

My voice and words are powerful; they have the power to build up or to tear down. I choose to build. I do not have to compete, be jealous, or insecure because no one can beat me at being me. I am a miracle of a woman appointed to do a divine task that no one else can do like me.
I was created perfectly for a divine purpose. I have the right voice, the right ideas, the right experiences, and more than enough power and strength to complete my God-given assignments. I am a minister on a divine mission that can not be stopped. My race, gender, and age are assets for all my God-given tasks.

I am loved and love deeply. I love deeply the people God has put into my life because God has first loved me. My friends are faithful and true; I love my family members and seek to restore (if it is possible) any broken relationships.

I will hold on to this good confession. And God's power, mercy, and grace, and by all that is the Name of Jesus, it is so.

Sage Sisters

2011-03-14T18:03:00.000-07:00

In August of 2007 an extraordinary woman, Rev. Dr. Linda H. Hollies, unexpectedly left this life.

She was a pastor, author, advocate, counselor, wife, mother, grand-mother, mentor, and friend. She was a bodacious woman whose presence you could not ignore. She loved the color purple ... which she wore somewhere on her person every day. She was inspiring, loving, and courageous.

Her last book was Sage Sisters: Essential Lessons for African American Women in Ministry (2007, The Pilgrim Press). The book is a collection nineteen essays authored by women engaged in various forms of ministry - some as traditional pastors, some as unconventional leaders, some nearing the end of their careers, while others are just beginning - but all with a story to tell about how God has called and equipped His Black daughters for ministry. It is just like Dr. Hollies to leave behind a treasure of wisdom for women by women. Rev. Dr. Hollies left many words of encouragement (she was the author of thirty books). Her writings and words sit upon my office shelf in easy reach for those days that I need someone to remind me of the fact that though this calling may not be easy, I have been called by God and God will see me through any and every situation.

As I read through the wisdom of Sage Sisters I can almost imagine myself sitting with Dr. Hollies in WomanSpace (A counseling and teaching space she founded and directed when she lived in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I visited that space many times). As I imagine myself in that space I can't help but ask, "Who are the living women that speak into my life now? And to whom am I passing on the wisdom of life and ministry that I have gained over the years?" I think that these are questions every woman in ministry needs to ask herself.

Relaunching as Sista Stories

2011-03-08T19:28:00.000-08:00

Extra! Extra! Read All About It! Preach Sista is relaunching it's blog with a new name and a new focus. As of March 8, 2011 the blog will be known as Preach Sista's Sista Stories.

As our name change would indicate Sista Stories is all about sharing stories and giving voice to the experiences of women. But, not everything has changed, we are still focusing on women in ministry. In the future (as in next week), we will use this space to relay interviews, share book reviews, and write commentary about the experiences of women in ministry. We will be allowing comments, so feel free to join the conversation.

Not Going Anywhere ... Unless the LORD Says So

2011-02-02T08:03:00.000-08:00

"Moses answered them, 'Wait until I find out what the LORD commands concerning you." Numbers 9:8 NIV

The Blizzard of 2011 (Feb. 1 and 2, 2011) will not be something that many of us who live in the Midwest will soon forget. Flights were canceled, roads and business were closed, snow drifts were measured in feet, and dogs refused to go outside to relieve themselves (or so it was with my dog). School-aged children had a snow day and adults were warned to not travel the roadways unless it was an emergency. A snow emergency has been declared and over 1,200 businesses in west Michigan were closed. Not too many people are going anywhere and many who have ventured out too soon - against the advise of city officials - are finding themselves stranded on roadways and out-of-luck.

Venturing out too soon can also be a problem for those who are trying to exercise their spiritual giftings and callings. It can be hard to wait to get where we want to go - to be the person we are sure God has called us to be ... the writer, the pastor, the wife, the mother, the college graduate, the business owner ... but sometimes God is trying to tell us to be still and wait for Him to make the path clear, wait until the environment He is preparing for us is ready, or wait until the storms in our lives clear and it is safe to travel. On at least three occasions on my spiritual journey I have had to wait until the LORD said it, "Now, you can go to a new place; now, you can operate in your giftings; now, having rested from your wounds you can help others to heal ."

Waiting is not always easy, but I have learned how to make the best of snow days and times of waiting. Today, I made pancakes for breakfast and will have a big pot of soup simmering on the stove soon. Today, I'm waiting to find out what the LORD is saying concerning me before venturing out. I will make the best of this time by blooming where I am planted right now.

Steps

2011-01-24T16:24:00.000-08:00

"When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble." Proverbs 4:12 (NIV)

Today, I decided to take steps towards achieving a goal I set for myself over a year ago, giving the Preach Sista! website a face lift. But I surprised myself, I accomplished more than I had imagined I would. Instead of simply changing dates on a
a couple of pages (steps), I was able to change the opening page (running). (Take a look ... http://www.preachsista.com/ )

It had been five months since I updated my website, just the thought of it caused me to find something else to do. I avoided small changes to the site because I wanted big changes and I wanted them now. I didn't want to do anything if I couldn't do the whole thing. But today, I decided to at least take a step in the right direction. And what do you know, one step led to another and then another. Inspiration came and at the end of the afternoon I had accomplished a goal that I had set year ago.

Sometimes all we need to do is to take one small step towards a goal. This true whether we are taking about cleaning a room, writing a book (Oh, yeah I gotta work on that one next), redesigning a website, or starting a ministry. One step ... but taking that step still means overcoming obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are in our heads, sometimes the obstacles are placed by other people, and sometimes, the obstacles are placed in our path by God. When God places the obstacles is either to slow us down because we are moving too fast or it is a test to see if we really believe that this is something we are called to do. Knowing the difference makes all the difference. In my case the obstacles were in my head - doubt that I could make the changes I wanted and allowing myself to be distracted by things that were not helping me reach my ministry goals. But, everyday is a new day and today I took a step and ended up running to the finish line without stumbling. It doesn't always happen that way, but I'm thank God that it did. It is a great start to a new year. This one victory is giving me the courage to take more steps towards goals and projects that have been delayed long enough.

Light of the World ... Maybe, Now is the Time to Shine

2011-01-22T19:04:00.000-08:00

"You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5: 14-16

Matthew 5: 14-16 is the theme scripture for our upcoming 2011 Preach Sista! Fresh Anointing Conference in Muskegon, Michigan. I think I was impressed to use this passage because I have found the courage to uncover "my light". For years (way too many to admit) my light had been dimming because of wounds suffered in the church. Afraid that my light would be completely extinguished, I "hid" my light. That is to say, I didn't allow my gifts, my dreams, or my calling to attract any attention. No attention, no further hurts. No attention, no risk of being misunderstood. No attention, no burn-out from being stretched too thin and being over committed. But, one day I realized that hiding my light was not being safe, it was a sin. Yep. A sin. It was a sin because I was willfully being disobedient. No wonder I was in a spiritual desert.

What changed? A new church home, a changed prayer life, and a quickening in my spirit that it was now time to get out of the box ... time to let my light shine ... and time to allow wounds to heal. My wounds were deep; and I still carry the scars, but as the book of Matthew tells us, if we do not let our light shine people may miss seeing the Father through us. I'm ready to be a light pointing to the Father, pointing to a Savior, pointing to the power of the Holy Spirit. I'm ready to be a light because I am tired of hurting and ready for healing. I'm ready to be a light, because there is Kingdom work to be done and I am here for such a time as this. Thanks be to God that He does not give up on us, even when we give up on ourselves.

I Give Myself Away

2010-12-17T08:46:00.000-08:00

You know how there are times when a song will stick in your mind and you can't seem to get it to stop playing in your head, well I am having one of those moments. This song ministers to me. I think it will be my personal anthem for 2011. When I think back over the last couple of years I think I have been holding back a part of my self from God. I have been resisting moves that I know that have initiated from God. I have resisted because the moves appeared to be uncomfortable and entailed a possibility of being misunderstood. But, when you are sincerely trying to live for God, you can only resist for so long. I have raised the white flag. I am cooperating with God. My life is not my own. I do belong to God. My Christmas gift to God in 2010, to place all of me --- all my hopes, dreams, fears, desires, and all that I think is mine --- in God's hands. I give myself away so He can use me. My 2011 resolution, to always have the words, "here I am Lord", on my lips and in my heart.

Cape Town 2010

2010-10-14T18:46:00.000-07:00

On October 15th I will be leaving for South Africa. I will be one of 400 US delegates and one of 4000 congress members for this international event. The aim of Cape Town 2010 is to discover new and enhanced opportunities for advancing the Gospel in the context of today's world, so that increasing numbers of people worldwide will find faith in Christ and peace in God.

As I pack my bags, I am excited about flying and I am wondering how God is going to shape the ministry He has entrusted to me by my participation in this world changing event. This trip is not a vacation, it is an encounter with God which will shape the rest of my life.

I am eager to talk with other believers about how the message of the cross and make a difference in our world. "The Lausanne Movement recognizes that credible Christian witness must embrace the issues of the day and that many global topics like HIV/AIDS, the environment, poverty, conflict, religious and cultural practices are remarkably complex and intertwined. In every case, conversation is vitally important. The subject of bearing wittiness to Christ in today's world is not about denying the complexity and reality; it is about offering the uniqueness of Christ as the epicenter of life which transcends the circumstances of life."
Find out more at www.capetown2010.com

Take the Time

2010-10-13T05:43:00.000-07:00

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: ... a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance ..." Ecclesiastes 3: 1 -4

It seems that I have started a tradition. Every year since turning fifty I have held a murder mystery dinner party. The first one was themed as a circus, the second as pirates, and the third as the roaring twenties. I think Mardis Gras will be next. I had only really planned to have one of these parties as a part of my multiple parties to celebrate turning fifty. But, the party was so much fun and I realized that I was not taking the enough time for fun. My time was filled with work at the college and work in ministry (and in earlier years raising children), almost to the point where I never had time to just have fun with my friends. As I was saying about the party, everyone had so much fun -- I think that we were just glad to have a happy reason to come together with no expectations but to be silly and eat good food. As people were leaving that first party they were asking, "when is the next one?"

That was a good question and a more profound question than I think I realized at the moment. You see, I say I value relationships, but at that moment I realized that I was not putting the necessary effort to maintain or enjoy the friendships that I treasure. "Why is it," I had to ask myself, "that I can find time for everything but fun?" Then, and this may sound strange, I started thinking about what people would say about me a my funeral and I wanted people to be able to say more than "she worked 20+ years at Calvin College, was married and raised three children, and founded Preach Sista!" I want someone to be able to say, "she knew how to have fun and invited us to share in that fun. She took the time to live life to the fullest ... and look, this is her as a pirate, and this is her as a clown, and this is her as a flapper, and this is her laughing ... with her friends."

While I am still able to enjoy the excitement of planning and executing a themed party, I want to take the time to do it because there will never be the 'right' time or 'enough' time to do so, my life has too much going on. After looking through one of my party scrapbooks, someone asked how I find the time to have themed parties. My reply, "I don't have the time, but life is short so I am taking the time to do so." I hope you, too, will take the time for fun and to build relationships.

Trust

2010-05-01T08:08:00.000-07:00

"Mine enemies would swallow me up all the day long; For they are many that fight proudly against me. What time I am afraid, I will put my trust in thee. In God (I will praise his word), In God have I put mu trust, I will not be afraid; what can flesh do unto me." Psalm 56: 2-4 ASV

To my knowledge, I do not have any enemies. From my perspective I am at peace with everyone and don't hold anything against anyone. But, even though I do not have any enemies, there are times when I am afraid. Sometimes I fear little things -- like speaking in front of people I do not know; sometimes I fear the unknown -- like when my life comes to an end, what will be left undone; and sometimes I fear that I am my own worst (and almost only) enemy.

I am my own enemy because of the (too) many times that I try to conquer my own fears by my own strength and wit or, worst yet, run from my fears. Running doesn't help and I don't have the strength or wit to face or solve most of my fears. I know that I know that trusting God is a sure bet to stifle the hold fear has over me but, I don't always turn to God first when I am faced with fears internal and external to myself. Instead, I sometimes allow my fears to get in the way of fully trusting God. But sometimes ... and more and more often ... I do trust and believe God more than my fears, more than the whispers of my enemies.

More and more I am realizing that trusting God is a process. Yes, sometimes the worst of my fears do come true, but even in the worst of times I am learning that I can still trust God. I can trust God because God has never failed in executing his own plans ... and trusting God doesn't automatically mean that everything will go my way. I will trust God, not because trusting God makes my days go well -- because they do not all go so well; I will trust God because God will bring me through what ever fears that I must face. When I stop trying to "make everything work out" and allow myself to rest in God, I find that trusting brings rest and a peace that passes all understanding.

The Scent of Water

2010-04-25T16:45:00.000-07:00

"At least there is hope for a tree: If it is cut down, it will sprout again, and its new shoots will not fail. Its roots may grow old in the ground and its stump die in the soil, yet at the scent of water it will bud and put forth shoots like a plant. " Job 14: 7 - 9

I am convinced that I have matured in my Christian walk because I have experienced joy and pain, success and failures, trust and doubt, and mountains and valleys. Sometimes, after being "pruned" I have wondered if I wondered if it is even possible to "sprout" back to life again. But, just when I was about to give up hope, just when it felt like my gifts of ministry had become too dry to be useful, there came the scent of water. And at the scent of water, the spiritual dryness began to disappear and my hope restored. Just like the smell of water hanging in the air after an early spring rain, the scent of water is a signal that flowers are soon on the way.

Another Touch

2010-04-18T15:18:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it seems like I just need another touch from God. As a believer who has sought to live faithful, I sometimes get weary of the trials, weary of giving and doing, and weary of what appears to me to be small results -- wondering if "any difference being made"? In those moments I need a healing touch, an empowering touch; I need a touch that refreshes the calling upon my live. Like the blind man who was touched by Jesus, I can see but not very clearly until I am touched again. I believe that Jesus can heal and has called me to ministry, but I need another touch of His grace, peace, mercy, and strength so that I can see past the trials, tiredness, and doubt to see His perfect plan.
"And he looked up and said, I see people, but [they look] like trees, walking. Then He put His hands on his eyes again; and the man looked intently [that is, fixed his eyes on definite objects], and he was restored and saw everything distinctly [even what was at a distance]. Mark 8:24-25 Amplified Bible

And then there are times when I feel like the woman who told herself that if she could just touch the hem of His garment she would be made whole. Sometimes it is not another touch from God that I need, but rather I need to touch God. I need to touch God with my praise (not just the playing of recorded music), I need to touch God with my dance (not just watching the dance of another), or to touch God with my service (not just giving money to a cause, but using my hands to support a effort that touches God's heart). When I change my focus from what I need and want to what God needs and wants ... I am touching God. As I seek to touch God, God extends His healing and restoring touch to me and to His people through me.

Somebody Prays for Me

2010-03-07T04:49:00.000-08:00

To which end we also pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of your calling, and fulfil every desire of goodness and [every] work of faith, with power; that the name of the Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and ye in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ." - 2 Thes. 1: 11 - 12

March 6 -8, 2010 I was honored to be a speaker at the Synergy (www.synergytoday.org) conference in Orlando, Fl. How nice it was to step off the plan and feel the warmth of a 55 degree day (when I left home that morning it was a chilly 27 degrees). But the warmth of the sun was nothing compared to the women I met at the conference. One of the things that touched me the most was my encounter with Miss Pattie and Miss Clara Nell. These were two beautiful seasoned sisters who prayed for me before I took the podium and let me know that they had been praying for me and would pray for me the whole time I was speaking. How empowered I felt hearing their prayers. How empowered I felt knowing that their prayers were being added to the voices of my sisters back home who wanted to join me on the trip, but didn't have the resources or the time.

And then this morning I received an email from a conference participant (mind you the conference is not over just yet, we still have the closing session to go). She traveled from Ethiopia to be at the conference, she (her name is Bethlehem) and her husband are working to fulfil the great commission in Ethiopia. In her email she did not ask me for support in her work, she told me that she felt blessed by what I had shared and was now committing herself to pray for me and the work I do. Humbled is not a strong enough word for what I am feeling.

How much comfort I feel knowing that people are praying for me; how much more I realize I need to pray more for my sisters.

But God Loves Me More ...

2010-02-12T18:46:00.000-08:00

So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. Genesis 29:20

Valentine's Day is just a few days away. It is a day to celebrate True Love.
As I look to the 14th I can honestly say that I have a love worth celebrating. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who finds it easy to declare his love for me daily. Like Jacob working for Rachel, there isn't anything that my husband would not do for me. And I, too, love my husband dearly. When I first told him that I believed I was being called to be a minister of the gospel, his first response was, "I didn't marry a minister". Thankfully, and with much prayer, conversation, and patience, he is now one of my biggest supporters and he is frequently whipping up a chocolate cake for Preach Sista! events. Last year Darrell and I celebrated 25 years of marriage. Over the years he has found out that cleaning is "not my thing" and that I am not a basketball or football fan. He thinks I drive to slow and I think he drives to fast. We have both changed over the years, but they been happy years. We have never separated or been unfaithful nor considered divorce (maybe not talked to each other for 24 hours, but that is as mad as it gets). We were made for each other. But as much as my husband loves me, there is One who loves me more; as much as my husband strives to show his love, there is One who has loved me before I was even a sparkle in my daddy's eye; and for as much as much husband is willing to do anything for me (except stay at a bed and breakfast), there is One who actually died for me. This Valentines day, and every day, I will bask in the love of the One who is Love (and enjoy a box of chocolate provided by my husband).

I Still Pray for Increase

2010-02-05T17:49:00.000-08:00

"Jebez cried to the God of Israel, saying Oh, that You would bless me and enlarge my border, and that Your hand might be with me, and You would keep me from evil so it might not hurt me! And God granted his request." ... so reads the tenth verse of the fourth chapter of the book of first Chronicles.

The idea of enlarged borders is intriguing and on the surface it seems like a fairly simple request; especially when all the action takes place in one verse and the request in that verse is followed by "and God granted his request. But what does it really take to enlarge one's borders-- as in influence, impact, effect, reach, power, and growth in spiritual giftedness. I mean do we really know what we are asking for, when we cry out "Lord, I pray for increase. Lord, enlarge my border"? I don't think so.

It has been my experience that the enlarging of borders is accompanied by pain from pruning and wounds from border skirmishes. Growth hurts before it blesses. Increase only comes after a cutting away of the things that comfort, confine, or cover us. It is a process that requires courage and resolve to believe God -- even when our circumstances would say otherwise. It is a process that will strip you down to the very essence of your faith. It will take you to a place where you can't afford to not believe God. In order to grow, to move beyond our present limitations ... we have to want it; we have to be desperate for change. We have to be willing to engage and trust the process for an outcome that can only be crafted by God. Often, the process takes more time than we think we have. In the process of enlarging our borders, our name - like Jebez's - will come to mean "sorrow maker". Like a rose bush that needs to be cut back before new growth can occur; we will often suffer a decrease or setback and a period of waiting or dormancy before new growth or extended borders become visible. Wishing for "increase" is easy; holding on to the hope of "increase" when life begins to sift you like wheat is more difficult. Difficult, but not impossible.

Knowing all of this, I still pray for increase. Why? Because I believe that God has much more for me to do. After all, to whom much is given, much is required. I am not through growing yet.

I was Empty, but now I am Waiting

2010-01-28T07:11:00.000-08:00

This week I am reading When the Heart Waits: Spiritual Directions for Life's Sacred Questions. The book is authored by Sue Monk Kidd, one of my favorite authors. On page 57 I read, "At some point, if we are to continue to grow, we must begin to differentiate ourselves from the roles we play. Often we do this when the roles that felt good initially now feel empty." These words struck a tender spot within my soul for I had come across words that named the present season of my life. Since December 2008 I have been questioning my role as minister. At one point, I thought about walking away from the calling that had, for the previous 20+ years given me such joy and provided an identity that I knew could have only come from God. I was facing resistance like I had never experienced before and it had gotten to the point that I would rather walk away than endure another assault on my character or "fight" another day for my identity as a minister. And in fact, in March of 2009 I took a leadership sabbatical and removed my self from the ministerial roster at my home church and from all assignments at the church. I then numbed myself and tried not to leave the church all together. 2009 was a year of waiting for God to move me ... either move me to another church, move my feelings, or move in my life. 2009 was a hard year for me. The waiting - a whole year of waiting - left me spiritually empty and wounded. I was in a spiritual crises. It felt like a wasted year. Waiting felt so purposeless and empty. I was empty and wasn't sure how or if I would ever be recharged again. When my antagonist at my home church left the church, I was still empty and still not "feeling" the leadership thing and STILL not knowing what the end of this whole process would be. Visiting other churches was not helping, facilitating PreachSista! events helped some, but did not truly address the "now what am I supposed to do with my calling" questions, nor the "who is Michelle the ordained clergy and where does she belong -- if anywhere" questions. In the past two months I have had three tearful "come-to-Jesus" moments with three of my most trusted friends - Yulonda, Raquel, and Trynette. That they are still my friends after I dumped on them is a true sign that they walk with God and they love me. Thank you Lord for true sista friends. Friends who grow with us and do not abandon us through the hard and dry seasons. I pray that I am that kind of friend to them. A few days ago, at Yulonda's urging, I started reading When the Heart Waits. I can honestly say that because of this book, I now see that 2009 was not a wasted year and the the emptiness and longing for change that I felt was just a part of growth ... deep growth. My spiritual crises was not, as I had feared, the end of a spiritual calling. My spiritual crises was the beginning of a deep spiritual transformation. I have turned the corner. I am no longer doubting the calling on my life and I am no longer willing to walk away from it. I now see that this time of waiting is needful for my growth. Yes, it is a time of questions, but as I am still I know that God is working with me through the questions. I have come out of the emptiness and now I am waiting. Waiting with expectancy, waiting with joy, waiting with a new found identity in Christ that is all the stronger because of the crises of 2009. Thanks be to God.

Remembering Mom

2009-12-08T14:16:00.000-08:00

It has almost been two years since my mother has passed from this life. I miss her more than I can say. I miss so many things. But what I miss most is not being able to pick up the phone to call her to talk ... I miss talking about recipes, love, life, ministry and sermons. She was my sermon sounding board and I was often her's.
When she died, something of my ministry died as well. She was a woman who had blazed the trail for ministry before me ... and she was someone I could talk to, she would remind me that the path of ministry for women is not easy, but it is so worth it!

I miss her reassuring presence when I speak. I miss her words of wisdom. I miss her laughter. I miss her speaking into my life.

Some Things Are Not Worthy to Say

2009-10-30T05:57:00.000-07:00

Listen, for I have worthy things to say; I open my lips to speak what is right. - Proverbs 8:6

Truth be told, I am experiencing a growing frustrations with sermon illustrations that are not edifying. I know that God uses people to speak truth from the pulpit and that sometimes the truth hurts ... but it is for correction. But, last week I heard a sermon illustration that really, really bothered me. Last week a young male preacher (and, yes this is a true recounting of an actual sermon) was trying to provide an illustration of how we are to trust God in the storms of life. He said, "There was a young Marine who married the love of his life. They went on a boat trip for their honeymoon. When they were far from shore a storm developed. The man was calm, but his wife was upset. She was not calm and was questioning why her husband was so calm in the midst of the violent storm. He thought to himself that he needed to do something to calm her down. He put a knife to her throat. He asked her if she was afraid, she said no. He asked why, the young wife said, 'because the person who is holding the knife loves me'. " This young preacher then said, "the God who is in control of the storms loves us. We need to trust God at all times and in every season." I agree, we need to always trust God ... but, October is Domestic Violence Month. This sermon was delivered in October. The sad reality is that that there are many a woman in her grave whose last thoughts were, "I thought he loved me." Women are more likely to die at the hands of there husbands and boyfriends than car accidents. Even if it was not Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I shudder at the message that illustration conveys to women ... and men. That violence is justifiable behavior ... as long as the person "loves you". This was not the only statement I had issues with in this young man's sermon. He was a guest and I did not feel it my place to correct him ... especially since most of the congregation was applauding wildly when he finished his message. While I appreciate the theme of his message, trust God in the storms of life, I am growing more and more frustrated with sermon illustrations that deny the realities of oppression of women. Some things are just not worthy to say from the pulpit ... or anywhere else.

Weariness and Due Season

2009-10-14T06:40:00.000-07:00

Let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time
and in the appointed season we will reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint. Galatians 6:9 amp

These words from Paul to the Galatians are words that I need to hear from time to time ... and this is one of those times. It is one of those times because the weariness that often accompanies trying to hold on to a ministry calling is trying to creep in.

Why? well it is not because I am doubting my call to preach or to build-up Preach Sista!. No, it is not that because I know that I know that God has called me to these tasks. If I am being honest, weariness tries to creep as I am dealing with my own fears surrounding my work in ministry. "What if I host a ministry event and no one comes" ... which I believe is at the root of my slowness to 'getting-the-word-out' about Preach Sista Events. If only a few people know, then I won't be disappointed with small numbers. I know, it is crazy to think that way. I know that. I am still working on trusting God completely with this work and not simply to trust me. But I have been let down before by people who had said they would be there ... and they were not. But, if I am being honest, it is not just that people have let me down, it is much more the fact that I get in my own way that makes me weary. I am tired of me getting in the way. I limit God by not allowing God to have full control. In my mind I see what Preach Sista! could be and What I believe God wants it to be, but then my heart lacks the courage to follow through. Add to this the stumbling blocks that women in ministry often face: Injustice, Exhaustion , Betrayal, and Denial on the part of others that we are called and that we have gifts (besides our chicken cooking skills) to offer the body of Christ and you have a perfect recipe for holding back.

Today, I need the words of Paul to remind me not to faint and to trust God for the success of Preach Sista! All I need to do is be faithful to my calling ... (I gotta keep telling myself that) and Preach Sista's Due Season will come.

Conflict is Part of A Leader's Story

2009-10-12T17:56:00.000-07:00

In March 2010 I will be one of the keynote speakers for Synergy 2010. You can read all about the conference at http://www.synergytoday.org/conferences.html I am excited about the conference, and invite you all to meet me in Florida for a conference that will speak of that which we do not talk enogh about -- Conflict. Conflict as part of our journey. The promo for the conference states ..."In the epic story God is weaving, our individual stories take us into uncharted territory where we would never venture by choice. In these dark and painful places, we endure an unsettling conflict of soul. Filled with doubts and fears, devastated by brokenness and loss—how can we be Christian leaders? Seasoned travelers tell us these unwelcome stretches of the journey are life-changing meeting places between ourselves and God. Together we will ponder how God uses conflict in the story to shape a leader's soul."

I am so ready to have this conversation. So ready to have a place to honestly explore the dark and painful places in our lives. Pain and darkness is a part of all of our lives. It has been said that, "if it doesn't kill you it will make you stronger". I think that by not acknowleding our dark places in life, in ministry ... we are dening the truth of our reality. In some ways, denying the pain and darkness is like saying God can not be "here". As a woman in ministry, conflict is woven throughout my story. Conflict with church leaders, with people who are convinced that the Bible prohibits women from preaching, conflict with my own family members who are convinced that women should not lead in church, and conlict with my self. Conflict is real. The struggle is real. But God, is bigger than the confilct before and within us. If you can make it to Orlando in March of 2009, join me for an honest and empowering conversation. If you can't, then start your own conversation and keep it real.

I'm Not Superwoman

2009-10-02T18:43:00.000-07:00

Now therefore, I pray thee, if I have found grace in thy sight, shew me now thy way, that I may know thee, that I may find grace in thy sight: and consider that this nation is thy people. And he said, My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest. And he said unto him, If thy presence go not with me, carry us not up hence. - Exodus 33:13-15

Rarely do I have the luxury of "having nothing to do". In fact, it is more likely the case that I have several things to do ... seemingly at one time. As a college adminstrator, minister, wife, mother, friend there is always something that needs my attention. Somewhere in all those to-do lists, I need to find time to refuel ... refuel my mind, body, and spirit. It is easy to delay time with God - just until I get the phone calls out the way, until I clear the e-mail inbox, until the laundry is complete, until I run to the store to pick up someting for dinner. Wait, dinner time, already, where did the time go? Too many days, I forget that I am not Superwoman. I forget that my body and mind need some downtime; I forget that time with God - through prayer, through meditation - is not just another item to check off my list of daily tasks; it is the way to find spiritual rest; the way to enjoy the presence of the Lord and gain perspective. Too many nights, I am burning the candle at both ends. It is only by God's grace and some superwoman power that I have to energy to accomplish anything. But tonight, I am going to take off my superwoman cape and find a quite place to where I can rest in God. Tonight, I am blowing out one of the burning candle wicks.

Dancing Out of Our Comfort Zone

2009-08-10T08:29:00.000-07:00

Preach Sista! inc. launched a new ministry on Saturday, August 8, 2009 called The Moving Word. The purpose of the ministry is to explore the formative and expressive nature of worship with a focus on dance. The theme for the August 8th session was Psalm 23. After a study of Psalm 23, sixteen women - ages 16 to 60 -learned dance movements set to Jeff Major's Psalm 23.

For many of us, myself included, praise dancing is something we dreamed of doing, but felt we could not because our extra "hippage", stiff knees, older age, lack of rhythm ... seeing ourselves as not good enough, or not small enough, or not experienced enough. For most of us, just putting on the practice skirts was an act of faith and an act of daring to believe that we could really do this even if we did not look like dancers, nor have the gracefulness of dancers.

For six of us, this daring to believe we could dance before the Lord went even further. We were able to present the dance during the morning worship service on the following day. We wore matching gowns as we danced before the Lord and before a congregation of about sixty people. We all danced out of our comfort zone the morning of August 9. As we readied ourselves for service, there were tears as we realized that this was for real. After the service, there were hugs and more tears ... we had done it, we had overcome our fears and danced for an audience of One ... God! We danced out of our comfort zone and into true freedom in Christ.

Seasons Change

2009-07-29T09:01:00.000-07:00

One of the hardest things to discren in ministry is, "when is it time to move on?" Don't ask me why, but when I think about the process of understanding when to stay or when to leave, I think of the line from the "gambler" song ... ya gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run .

When faced with opposition, in ministry; sometimes the hardest thing to do is to stay ... sometimes the hardest thing is to leave. How does someone know what to do? First, you have to know that you know that God has called you to a particular place. If you can't say that God has called you to a place ... hurt feelings and frustrations aside ... then you are likely on your way ou of the door. If you know that you know that you are in the right place ... and it is not just your pride or "flesh" talking, then you will need to ask yourself if this is right season for you in this place. Know this, just as seasons in the natural world change, seasons in our spiritual lives change as well. That is to say, that sometimes roles, responsibilites, locations, and positions change as a part of our faith journey.

We do ourselves harm ... emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes physically ... when we stay in a place longer than we should. We stay too long out of fear of not knowing what is coming next; we stay too long because we fought too hard to get into the position we now occupy (even thogh the joy left long time ago); we stay too long because we do not want to disappoint other people; we stay too long because someone has told us that certaininly God has not told us to leave, step down, change positions, or start something new. Well, just like the line from the Gambler ... ya gott know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run. When you are trying to figure out what to do ... to stay or leave ... speak up or be quiet ... keep doing the same 'ole thing or start something new ... just make sure you are not like the children of Isreal as they approached the Red Sea. In Exodus the 14th chapter, the people are crying out to Moses and a wondering out loud if it would not have been better to stay in Egypt. But God's response is an indication that seasons do change. God's response, "Why are you crying out to Me? Tell the Isrealites to move on." Exodus 14:15. When it is time to move on, God will let you know. You just need to listen and move ... no matter how great the sea is before you. Sometimes we think that we are stuck because God has not moved or changed the circumstances; but in reality, some of the time it is God waiting for us to stop crying and to start moving.

Finding Joy While Waiting

2009-07-22T15:15:00.000-07:00

Gary was indeed the refreshment that I needed. In fact, it was so restful my 36 hour break felt like 120 hours. My mentor friend prepared a room for me that was free from distractions. We walked along the beach (yes, there is lake front property in Gary, IN), at out, shared insight from the Word, and most precious, just listened - really, really, really listened - to each other's stories, pain, and "in the meantime" plans. How nice to be able to talk freely with someone who will not judge you, but will speak the truth in true love. Two of the many things we talked about was "who ministers to the ministers?" and "how do we find joy in waiting?"

We both agreed that we needed to continue ministering to one another AND to other women in ministry who may feel like they are on the edge of breaking down, loosing it, or just tired ... sick and tired. As we talked about finding joy while waiting , we both agreed that our joy is made complete as we find ways to serve God. Our frustration comes when attempts to exercise our God-given gifts are rejected because; a) the timing is off, b) other people's insecurities, c) people can't believe that God would call a woman to do anything but watch children and cook, or d) we have never been properly trained to exercise our gifts let alone been invited to use them. So how to find joy in waiting? Waiting for our change to come. Waiting for circumstances to change? Waiting for the truth to be revealed? Waiting for the church to be inclusive and not alienating? How to wait in joy? We remember the One who called us. We remember to wait is to serve as opportunites present themselves -- or we make the opportunities when there are none. We remember 1 Peter 5:10 " And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, support, stregthen, and establish you."

Refreshment in Gary

2009-07-18T23:30:00.000-07:00

I am starting this blog on Saturday, July 18, 2009 around 11:00pm EST. There is nothing particulary special about tonight except for the fact that it is the night before a travel to Gary, IN to visit a friend and mentor. I am looking forward to the visit just as one would look forward to a sunny day after days and days of overcast skies. I am going to Gary because I need some one to talk to. No, actually, I am not traveling hundreds of miles just to talk; I am traveling hundreds of miles so that I can grieve in the safety that only a wise and trusted mentor can provide.

Why am I grieving? I am grieving because my church home is no longer a safe place for me as a woman in ministry ... make that a Black woman in ministry. My situation is not unique, but that doesn't make the hurt any less painful. The knowledge that other women are also going through dry seasons in their faith walks ... questioning their calling because of the insecurities of others, because new passions awaken with no place to pursue them, because the call is larger than our perceived giftings, because there are still men (in the church and out) who keep insisting that God does not call women to preach. This knowledge does not make me any less lonely on a Sunday morning sitting in the midst of crowd of people. So on Sunday, I will take a drive to Gary, IN in order to find refreshment.